Backwoods 2008 - REVIEW

A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me to watch and review this film and I finally got around to doing it last night. I was told that it was a bit like 'Severance' and if I enjoyed that film (which I did) then I would enjoy this film as well. Hmm? The only resemblance to 'Severance' that I found was that the characters in this movie also go on a team building weekend. That's about as far as the comparison can go.

It seems director Marty Weiss and writer Anthony Jaswinski had an idea for a movie, threw together a script, shot it and stuck it out there. Or maybe they even had an idea for a movie, shot it, wrote a script to match then stuck it out there. That seems more likely.

Normally, this is where I'd break down the plot of the movie and tell you what I liked or disliked. Unfortunately right now, I'm feeling like I've already wasted 90-sum odd minutes watching it so I really don't wanna get into all over again. What I can tell you is there was absolutely no character development. The plot was just a mess. Even the editing was awful.

There's a part in the film where Adam (Ryan Merriman) and Lee (Haylie Duff) jump off a huge rock and into the water. You see them come up for air, climb out of the water and then in the next scene, they're all dry. I'm sorry but you might as well wave a red flag in front of my face and say "Hey! Can you tell that we don't give a fuck about the shooting and editing of this movie?"

Also, in the beginning, there's a girl that's kidnapped for breeding purposes. Yes, I said breeding purposes. In one scene she's very pregnant but at the end of the film, she's got her girly figure back. I never saw or heard anything that told me she'd popped that puppy out. I even rewound it to see if maybe I dozed off and missed it. Nope, I didn't. There was just no explanation and no sign of Jethro, uh, I mean the baby. That to me, is a total lack of commitment on the part of the director and editor.

The genre of the film was a bit confusing for me as well. It's listed as an action/horror/thriller. So let's start with action: Goonies was more action packed than this film. As far as horror goes, the scariest thing about it was it's lack of a consistency. And the thriller aspect: I didn't see Michael Jackson anywhere.

The plot flip flopped back and forth so much that I didn't know if I was watching a film about a paint-balling excursion gone horribly wrong or a film about government conspiracies. It's possible it was about a fucked up cult like family trying to weed out inbreeding by kidnapping women and giving them to this really huge dude named Josiah (Robert Allen Mukes).



If you've ever seen Wrong Turn, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Severance, Assault on Waco and Timber Falls, you've pretty much seen this movie. That's how chaotic it was.

It wasn't until the end of the film that I realized it was made for TV. Which would explain it's lack of gore so I can let that slide. However, at the end of the day, I'd rather sit and watch this over and over and over again:



To wrap this up, I'd have to say that watching this movie was kinda like telling my 4 year old to clean her room. Totally pointless and leads nowhere.