If this comes off as a scatter brained review, it's because it is. My mind is going in so many different directions I can't keep it all straight. So without further ado here is my review of Halloween 2 (2009).......
Against my better judgement, I finally made time to sit down and watch this movie. I didn't like the first one so I don't know why I was expecting anything different this time around but I thought hey, at least I can say I tried. There was no plot, the characters were shallow and mean and I found myself wanting Michael Meyers to butcher the whole lot of them. There was no "hero/heroine" to root for. The soundtrack was crap, the writing was horrible the suspense was non existent and so on and so on. I just kept thinking, it's gotta get better cuz it couldn't really get any worse. Well.... Danielle Harris has a line in this movie that pretty much sums up how I feel about it and it goes something like this... "I'm not impressed."
So, let's get into characters... ugh.
Rob Zombie took certain liberties that never, EVER should've made it on screen, at least not for the Halloween franchise.
He turned Laurie Strode into a prescription drug addicted psychotic that goes off on anyone who tries to help her. There is nothing interesting about what Scout Taylor-Compton brings to the character but I'm sure she did the best she could with the shit she was given. All in all, I found myself not caring if she survived the movie or not. I was actually hoping MM would kill her off and be done with it.
He turned Dr. Sam Loomis into a money grubbing fame seeker with no empathy for any of MM's victims. He even has a line... "When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you." WHAT?!? I don't expect a remake to be exactly like the original but as far as characters go, I don't feel they should be changed in such a drastic way. No one wants to hate Dr. Loomis. He's an obsessive compulsive doctor whose spent a lifetime studying MM and would never use him as a means of exploitation. The scene where he's doing a book signing and the father of one of the victims comes in and berates him for "killing his daughter" is so over the top and ridiculous it's almost comical. Even the years of experience that Malcolm McDowell brings couldn't save this re-invented Dr. Loomis character.
Of course, RZ always has to have his snoozefest of a wife in each and every movie but I was certain since she blew her head off in the first one, she wouldn't be in this one. What the hell was I thinking? She's in flashbacks and even comes to MM in ghost form to tell him what needs to be done. Something about a river of blood or some bullshit like that. Every time she came on screen, I had to laugh at the stupid blank expression on her face.
Then of course, you have MM whose character is so different from the original it makes me sick. The original MM was a mindless killer that did it just because he could but he also had a naive, almost child like quality to him. This one, I just kept expecting him to pick up a guitar and go jam with ZZ Top. And since when does MM take off his mask and go for a walk out in the open. In the original, we never saw him walking and walking and walking he was just there. We sure never saw him dragging along his dead mom and inner child as he relentlessly pursued his little sister. And what the hell is up with the hooded coat and scarf? MM belongs in his mask and pair of dirty coveralls and that's it. He is one of the simplest characters in the movie and RZ took him way over the top with the grunting and even talking at one point! Ok it was just one word but it was still talking!
I was so aggravated with the dialogue that I could've watched the entire movie with no sound and it would've made it more interesting. It was almost like RZ couldn't think of any other dialogue so he just decided to add the word fuck at the end of each sentence and sometimes in the middle and sometimes at the beginning, middle and end. It was like a fuck fest without the sex.
It was bloody and disgusting enough to satisfy my wants but the kills were unimaginative and not very well thought out. Most of the time it was just a shadow killing a shadow or MM stabbing repeatedly. I have no doubt Tyler Mane was exhausted by the time filming was finished.
There is so much more I could go on about but I don't see the point. If asked, I would say definitely don't waste time watching this movie. The only thing you'll be left with is an aching desire for MM to come out of the TV and put you out of your misery.
Rotten Tomatoes lists this film at 21% positive feedback with 68 reviews counted.
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